While wrecks and never-ending construction contribute to sluggish Houston freeways, our hellish congestion can also be blamed on a bizarre mix of outlandish human behavior, wayward animals (dead or alive), and the sudden need to get butt naked.
VIDEO: Naked man seen running along 610 Loop
These strange events, by the way, are a great distraction from the fact we're losing an average of $1,490 in lost time and 29 gallons of gas each year while sitting in traffic, according to The Texas A&M Transportation Institute.
Next time you're in bumper-to-bumper traffic, the reason might be on this list:
You're late cause someone had to get naked (again)
Over the last year, we can think of at least three incidents where people stripped down and let it all hang out, from the North Freeway to North Loop to the Southwest Freeway.
VIDEO: Naked woman shuts down Highway 290
Sometimes the naked run beside us, sometimes they climb atop 18-wheelers, and in one instance, they teeter on the brink of a frightening fall from the top of signs as we hold our collective breath.
SEE ALSO: Southwest Fwy shut down after man in his underwear climbs atop sign
Sometimes cat ladies happen
Given the alternative, we'd much rather see cuddly animals live. But it takes an awfully brave person to stop their vehicle and to dart between Houston traffic to make it happen.
The woman who chased a quick-moving kitty around the Sam Houston Tollway recently was trying to do a noble thing, but it ticked off a handful of drivers who showed their appreciation with a slew of hand gestures.
VIDEO: Woman spotted chasing cat on Sam Houston Tollway
Officials say it's not worth risking your life.
Fight! Fight! Fight!
We've seen it all too often, and there really isn't a good reason for it. The push down, drag out road rage fights we've seen on abc13 over the last year have drawn a ton of attention.
One fight in particular on the Gulf Freeway really stands out. A pregnant woman was seen trying to stop an SUV driven by her ex-boyfriend. Absolutely brutal.
VIDEO: Driver, pedestrian fight caught on camera on the Gulf Freeway
Ouch: When passengers attack
We thought we'd seen it all, and then a woman was accused of stabbing a driver on the Southwest Freeway. Fortunately, the man was expected to survive, but only after he hit the guardrail, spun his vehicle and then suffered a head-on collision with another driver.
The Southwest Freeway was shut down as a result of all this, and HPD says the woman was whisked away in a getaway car that was likely following the man's vehicle.
VIDEO: Police say woman stabbed man before crash on SW Fwy
"I gotta go, Julia. We've got cows."
It's Texas. Livestock is abundant. Sometimes the livestock decides to sunbathe on our precious and ample freeway space. Hilarity ensues until we grow hungry and/or need to use the restroom. Then it's just plain rude.
The quote above, by the way, is from the movie "Twister." It has been inserted here on a dare.
VIDEO: Wayward cows block State Highway 290
Love can happen anywhere, at any time
Most of you know the story, but it bares repeating: Fellas, never ever stop traffic on a Houston freeway to impress a woman.
Vidal Valladares found out the hard way that drivers on the Gulf Freeway (and anywhere in Houston really) aren't keen on traffic for the sake of a marriage proposal.
Not only was he charged for obstruction of a highway, but he and his main squeeze Michelle Wycoff said they received threats on social media.
VIDEO: Man shuts down busy highway to propose to girlfriend
VIDEO: Charges filed against freeway Romeo
30 minutes or it's free
The rich aroma of garlic-brushed pizza dough likely stirred hunger pangs in drivers on the West Sam Houston Tollway after a crash caused a Little Caesar's pizza truck to go up in flames.
While it was a great loss for the company, the fortunate news is the driver was okay.
VIDEO: Fire bakes pizza truck on West Sam Houston Tollway
Dance like nobody is watching
Sometimes, you just have to dance, but the Eastex Freeway isn't the greatest dance floor.
One man ended up in handcuffs after he climbed on top of his car and danced. Vehicles had to drive around the elevated dance platform until HPD arrived.
VIDEO: Police detain man seen dancing on top of his car
Speaking of dancing, check out these illegal moves
This freeway dance party happened following a police chase on I-45. When HPD started giving the suspect orders over the microphone he took the opportunity to start dancing. The suspect was finally taken into custody after nearly 10 minutes.
VIDEO: Chase suspect dances on the freeway in front of police
Why did the frozen chickens cross the road?
An 18-wheeler crash on Highway 288 meant major delays as emergency crews worked to clear dozens and dozens of frozen chickens from the roadway.
The highway was closed for more than eight hours, but the good news is the big rig driver survived the wreck.
VIDEO: Highway 288 reopens after rig crash spills frozen chicken
PHOTOS: Frozen chickens spilled across Hwy 288
Oil spill, extra virgin style
Who spills a load of olive oil and leaves it on a highway? Police wanted to know the same thing after someone slipped away from the big mess near State Highway 288.
For five hours, crews worked to clean the oil slick. When they couldn't wash it away, a load of absorbent clay was ordered, spread on the concrete and then carted away so they could reopen the roadway.
VIDEO: SH288 at Almeda Genoa reopens after olive oil spill