'One arm, but not unarmed': How Suzan Nguyen pulled herself out of a dark place after losing her arm

HOUSTON, Texas (KTRK) -- Disability Pride Month is celebrated every year in July to commemorate the passage of the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) on July 26, 1990. It's a time to recognize the struggles, listen to the experiences, and celebrate the accomplishments of people living with disabilities.

However, the word "disability" can bring mixed feelings for some people. Suzan Nguyen, 46, acknowledges that she wasn't fond of the term when she became an amputee.

"When I first lost my arm, I found the word 'disabled' very uncomfortable and pretty offensive. But after being in my situation for decades, I've learned to embrace it. To me, a disability is when someone has a physical or mental condition that may prevent them from doing certain things. It may be one part of me, but it's not what defines me," she said.

The moment that changed her life forever happened 24 years ago, but she still remembers it vividly, as if it happened yesterday. Nguyen said that she was driving her two friends home in the rain after a night out.

"There was a car that veered into my lane. Not being an experienced driver at the age of 22, I lost control of the wheel. The next thing I remembered was the car rolling over and over. I was ejected from the windshield and landed on the wet ground. My friends were screaming at the top of their lungs for me, asking if I was OK," she emotionally recalled.

Nguyen said she was found about 50 feet away from the vehicle. She explained that a piece of the car had severed her arm completely. Doctors told her that if first responders had gotten her to the hospital any later, she could've ended up in a vegetative state due to shock.

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Still, her new reality felt extremely overwhelming and devastating. She shared how difficult it was to learn how to do everyday tasks all over again but with one arm. Every time she had to ask for help or felt like people were staring at her, it took a toll on her mental health and emotional state.

"It put me in a dark place. I started becoming very bitter, angry, ashamed, and resentful of what happened. I couldn't look in the mirror because I hated the reflection that was staring back at me," Nguyen said.

Starting over is not a concept that's unfamiliar to Nguyen. Her family came to the United States in 1975 as refugees of the Vietnam War, rebuilding their lives in a country where the language, culture, and way of living were completely unfamiliar to them.

The family of seven made their way through Minnesota, then Port Arthur, Texas, and eventually settled in Houston, the city she's called home since she was 13 years old.

But despite their family's resilience, Nguyen admitted she often felt like she was navigating the road to recovery on her own after the crash. She became depressed and turned to alcohol as a coping mechanism.

"I wasn't speaking about my feelings and being vulnerable. Growing up in Asian culture, I didn't want my vulnerability to be perceived as a weakness. So I was on a path to destruction and self-medicating, doing practically anything to numb the pain. I was basically a ticking time bomb," she said.

Her turning point came several years after the crash when she ended up in jail for an assault case. Nguyen felt that she had hit rock bottom and needed to change how she was choosing to live her life. During that challenging period of her life, she met Phu, the man who eventually became her husband.

"When I met him, I was wearing a prosthetic arm. It was awkward and heavy. He could tell I was uncomfortable, and he asked me why I was wearing it. It was a profound moment for me, so I took it off, and he still loved me for who I was. He is a huge reason why I was able to be better. He believed in me when nobody else did," Nguyen said.

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Nguyen began taking small steps towards creating her own joy, celebrating the little victories each day and retraining her brain to look at the world with a different perspective. Her happiness, confidence, and appreciation for life began to show, and it opened up an entirely new chapter for her.

In 2017, she was asked to share her personal story in front of 1,500 people at a national conference while working at the corporate office for Mattress Firm. She remembers seeing audience members crying and laughing with her. When she got off the stage, she said people came up to give her a hug and express their inspiration.

"While it may look different, we all go through some type of loss. I've had people all over the world reach out, and even though they haven't lost a limb, they've lost a loved one or a job they really loved. Grief is grief. Pain is pain," she said. "So my message is universal. We are resilient, and we can get through anything by being vulnerable, accepting our reality, and leaning on those who love us."

Now, Nguyen fully focuses her work on public speaking, coaching, and creating content. She is a two-time local TedX speaker, pageant titleholder, published author, and has just signed with a global talent agency.

"Life looks different from what I had imagined it. But I realize that we all take a different path in life. We're all on our own journey. I wanted to be successful, happy, and close to my family. For the most part, I feel like I have accomplished most of those things," Nguyen said.

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