Pride Houston 2023: Meet the Latina trailblazer fighting for more spaces for LGBTQ+ Houstonians

HOUSTON, Texas (KTRK) -- Years ago, a fleeting thought propelled Margarita Perez Frinsco into a sprint.

"I was looking at another teen, and thinking, 'I wonder what it would be like to hold her hand?'" Frinsco recalled.

Terrified, the young Latina laced up her tennis shoes and headed for a track near her family's Houston home, thinking if she tried, she might just outrun herself.

What she eventually discovered was she was actually running in pursuit of love, authenticity and a space to call her own.

A coming out story

In June, Frinsco was named Pride Houston's 2023 Female Identifying Grand Marshal. But before her entry into history books, she was just Margarita, a first-generation girl from a family whose roots extend into small town Mexico.

An avid church volunteer, she said she recognized early on her affinity for people, charity and fostering community.

She also discovered she was different from her female peers.

"I came out really young. I had my first couple girlfriends at church, volunteering," Frinsco said, with a laugh. "The church doesn't know that, (but) it was such an innocent place to explore my sexuality, who I was, and to learn about myself."

Frinsco said she was able to invest more time exploring her identity while studying at University of St. Thomas, and came out as a lesbian in her early 20s.

"My mom struggled with it. I didn't talk to my parents for a little bit," a teary Frinsco recalled. "It was a difficult time."

In those days, she read how coming out highlighted the need for LGBTQ+ people to affirm their own experiences. But, for this daughter, whose Mexican culture valued and celebrated familiar connections, no amount of self-validation was enough.

"I wanted my family," Frinsco said. "It was something I was willing to lean into faith and love, and hope, and put in the work."

Braver conversations and safer spaces

Like any journey worth taking, the road to reconciliation was often winding.

Frinsco said her family focused on conversations about the impact of certain language, and her parents' fears for their lesbian daughter.

"There's a lot of moments where I could see growth in their journey," she said, "but there were a lot of moments where it was painful, because having those conversations is hard."

All the while, Frinsco was also pursuing affirming spaces outside her family.

Experiences from her career in philanthropy taught her the importance of inclusion, working alongside her mentor Tammi Wallace, now president of Greater Houston LGBT Chamber of Commerce.

"A lot of spaces for queer Houstonians were specifically catering to a small subset of the community," Frinsco said. "That didn't always feel like I belonged in them, first as a lesbian and two as a Latina, somebody from humble beginnings."

When Chances closed down, then Houston's only lesbian bar, Frinsco said she felt lost without a safe space to meet other people.

Spurred by an idea from someone close to her, she launched a social dinner group, Her Destination Unknown. The gathering of lesbian women allowed Frinsco to network, support LGBTQ+ charities, and even meet Jessica, her future wife.

"It grew from 10 people to 20 people to 30 people, 100 people, 150 people, and all of a sudden, it was a party," Frinsco said.

Building for the future

When Frinsco and her girlfriend decided to wed in 2016, she said her parents initially planned to skip the ceremony.

But, one more brave conversation changed everything.

"(A priest) mentioned to her that children are a gift of God. We choose how we are going to steward that gift," she said. "That was an eye-opening moment for her, and for me, it was a moment that redefined our relationship."

After about 15 years of fighting for her family, her parents learned how to embrace their child from that day forward.

Today, Frinsco is flourishing in her role as senior director of advancement at the University of Houston's Cullen College of Engineering.

"I am living my best life," she said.

Her parents call Jessica her wife, instead of her friend. They call the couple's baby boy, born last year, their grandchild.

Frinsco's mom was even there, waiting on pins and needles with the couple during a recent vacation to Portland, to see if her daughter would be named Pride Houston grand marshal.

With her new platform, Frinsco said she hopes to foster more opportunities for the LGBTQ+ community in Houston, a city that still has only one lesbian bar.

"There's this vibrant community with so much opportunity to create spaces to engage. I find hope in that," Frinsco said. "I find hope that those leaders all look different. They all present in different ways, and they are all speaking to different communities and inviting them to be part of something greater."

She also hopes her story will serve as an example of tenacity.

"If there's one takeaway," Frinsco encouraged, "in the way that's most healthy to you, fight for the things that are important."