HOUSTON, Texas (KTRK) -- As Astros pride flows through Houston after the team's big World Series win, the desire to purchase anything signifying their historic win is bigger than before.
Sporting goods retailers throughout the area have met long lines of proud Astros fans waiting to grab different and numerous designs of championship tees, for example.
One might even act on their curiosity and buy non-clothing items like a car flag or license plate cover that reads, "Astros 2017 World Series Champions."
Then there are these items. While they're not quite off the wall and unusual, their level of impracticality may separate the superfan from the obsessive-level mega fan. Here's what we found:
World Series Champions Cufflinks
On Fanatics, we found multiple versions of cufflinks celebrating the World Champs: ones with color and a separate one in sterling silver.
The colored cufflinks are about $41 less than the sterling silver ones.
Nevertheless, you might have to ask yourself, at what point will I break out these babies? When I put on my "Dumb & Dumber" style orange tuxedo?
Of course, those won't compare to...
Game-Used Baseball Cufflinks
Let's break it down for you. These cufflinks on the "token" portion is covered with the stitching and horsehide of game-used baseballs.
At $190, these bad boys can be yours, and on Fanatics, they are actually almost sold out!
Anything to get your wrist closer to a routine ground ball held by Carlos Correa, right?
Houston Astros Nail Polish and Decals
Ladies, be the envy of your circle of friends when you have small Astros logos all over your toes.
But, seriously, Major League Baseball knows its sport isn't just for the sweaty dudes.
On Fanatics, a two-pack of polish and cute little decals will run you $12.99. The colors come in the Astros official hues.
Hand Care Set
We're not against the need for cleansed, sanitized and moisturized hands. That's not what this observation is to hit at.
However, when the selling point of the product, which is $24.99 on mlbshop.com, is the labeling, you might have to draw a line.
Of course, one could use this as the perfect complement of a man cave. But, still, how many people have a man cave?
Cheese Board, Tools and Serving "Stage"
For the Astros fan who commands a respectable knowledge of wine and cheeses, there's this item from mlbshop.com.
The online store actually sells more than one Astros branded cheese board, which makes you wonder, what fan really needs all that cheese? (Answer: everyone, apparently.)
Here is the description on the website: "Entertain your guests at your next Houston Astros victory celebration with this Concerto cheese board with serving stage and tools. The Houston Astros Concerto includes a large bamboo cutting board, stainless steel cheese tools and a tempered glass tray that can be used as a second cutting or serving surface."
You can get all of this for $79.99.
For all their work on the field and as a professional sports brand, the Astros deserve to sell these wares, as impractical and out of touch as these products are.
And you, the fan, should know what exorbitant offerings you can bring to the table.
So, remember the awesome season the Astros had when you wear your tuxedo cuff links while slicing through a fresh block of gouda.
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