Rose Maria Kosmetatos told jurors that she wished her son, Dimitrios Pagourtzis, had killed her instead of his classmates because she felt like her life "for all intents and purposes was over that day anyways."
"He wasn't raised to do anything like that," Kosmetatos said. "If I had known my son had any capacity or inkling of doing anything like that, I would have personally gotten in front of him."
Kosmetatos testified to a reasonably standard home life. She contacted Santa Fe ISD when there were issues or concerns with her children, looked through her son's phone, and regularly went into his room. She said she had no reason to suspect anything was happening with him.
"Looking back, it's very hard because you look back and everyone's rearview mirror, you can look back, and hindsight is 20/20," Kosmetatos said. "At that time, no, there was no outward reason to think he would ever do anything."
When pushed on her son's mental health and signs before the shooting, she said she noticed something was wrong and did not know why but hoped it would pass.
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She brought up that their home flooded during Hurricane Harvey, both her and her husband's mother's health declined, and her brother committed suicide. She said she was overwhelmed at the time by the directions she was being pulled in.
During questioning from opposing attorneys, it came out that her mother had schizophrenia at a young age, and she battled depression in her early teen years.
On Monday, when her husband was asked on the stand if he had any responsibility for what happened, he immediately said, "No."
When she was asked again Tuesday, Kosmetatos paused for at least 10 seconds and said, "I am his mom. I loved him very much. I promise I did everything I could to make him a good person. I can't explain what happened."
The judge in the case has not ruled on whether Santa Fe ISD will be added as a third-party defendant, per a motion by the defendants. On Monday, the victim's attorney filed a motion against it.
During Kosmetatos' testimony, she said that she felt the school district failed her by not making her aware of her son's 57 unexcused absences and that he was wearing a trench coat to school.
Testimony will continue on Wednesday for day 11.
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