"When you're in town wearing some kind of uniform, it's helpful — policeman, priest. ... When you join a revolution, wear an armband and carry a homemade flag tied to a broom handle, or a placard bearing an incendiary slogan. At the very least, you should wear a suit and carry a briefcase and a cell phone, or a team jacket, baseball cap and a cell phone.
"If you're in the woods — some place far from any human habitation — it is a good idea to wear orange and carry a gun, or depending on the season, a fishing pole or a camera with a big lens otherwise ... it might appear that you don't know what you're doing, that you're just wandering the Earth with no particular reason for being here and no particular place to go. Thanks very much."
John Waters, introducing production number of "Cry-Baby," based on his film and nominated for best musical:
"I'm not here to talk about 'August: Osage County,' although I do have a warm spot for dysfunctional pill poppers," he said, referring to Tracy Letts' Tony winning play about a bitter, backbiting family.
In introducing what he called a "rockabilly prison number," Waters mused, "One wonders if there are actual prisoners who are watching the Tony show tonight. Talk about a new minority. Well, if so, I imagine they're a little upset, and so are we."
Host Whoopi Goldberg, suspended on wires above the stage, dressed like Mary Poppins flying in on the wind:
"You realize that I'm higher than the mama from 'Osage County."
Paulo Szot, in his acceptance speech for winning actor-musical for "South Pacific," after Liza Minnelli presented the award:
"This is unbelievable. Liza Minnelli — wow."
Laura Benanti, interviewed in media room after winning featured actress-musical for her role of Louise in "Gypsy":
Question: "What would Mama Rose say about your win?"
Answer: "Oh, I think she'd say 'What about the Oscar?'"
And what are her plans for the Tony?
"I think I'm going to turn it into a necklace."
Jim Norton, winner featured actor-play for his role in "The Seafarer":
"This has to be one of the happiest days of my life. This is just great. I mean, I can't believe it. ... And I can truthfully say: I LOVE NEW YORK."
Stew, winner for best book of a musical for "Passing Strange":
He said the intention of "Passing Strange" was to stay "true to the music that people actually listen to ... on subways or when they're at home getting stoned or when they're at parties."
Tracy Letts, whose Pulitzer Prize winning play "August: Osage County" won best play:
"Writing is better than acting. You get to use your words and you don't need to be there eight days a week. ... This moment beats the hell out of auditioning for 'JAG,'" he said, referring to the former TV series.
In thanking his producers, he took a swipe at Broadway shows that cast movie stars and winners from TV reality shows and said, "They did an amazing thing: They decided to produce an American play on Broadway with theater actors."
Lin-Manuel Miranda, who won original score for writing the music and lyrics for best musical "In the Heights":
"It is like the best prom ever, dude."
Anna D. Shapiro, winner direction-play for "August: Osage County":
She thanked her six nieces and nephews who "mercifully just think of me as Aunt Anna and don't care about any of this. They just don't. They just wanted tickets to 'Little Mermaid.' And I got them."
Patti LuPone, winner actress-musical for her role of Mama Rose in "Gypsy":
"It's such a wonderful gift to be an actor who makes her living working on the Broadway stage and then every 30 years or so picks up one of these. I was afraid to write a speech, because I had written a couple before and they never made it out of my purse. So I'm going to use one of the old ones and add a few names."
