5 fictional quarterbacks Texans should sign next

Saturday, November 11, 2017
HOUSTON (KTRK) -- The Houston Texans have become a revolving door for quarterbacks and they're running out of options. While some fans are pushing owner Bob McNair to choose a very real, but controversial option, we have some fictional ones.

  1. Flash Gordon from "Flash Gordon"
  2. We know he was a popular New York Jets quarterback, but we never saw him on the field. However, judging by his display on the planet Mongo, he is pretty adept at running out of the pocket.

  3. Shane Falco from "The Replacements"
  4. If Falco can lead the Washington Sentinels to the playoffs, then maybe there's a chance for the Texans. Plus he has a message many Texans need to hear, "Pain heals. Chicks dig scars. Glory... lasts forever."

  5. Johnny Utah from "Point Break"
  6. Another Keanu Reeves role, but Utah may have one up on Falco. Utah was injured in the Rose Bowl during his senior year. That indicates his Ohio State team won the Big Ten. Falco, on the other hand, played in the Sugar Bowl, meaning Ohio State did not win the Big Ten.

  7. Paul Crewe from "The Longest Yard"
  8. Crewe was never a has-been or castoff like other fictional quarterbacks. He was talented enough to be in the Pro Bowl and only left the league after scandal, not ineptitude like many of the quarterbacks we've been considering in real life. As we see in the film, Crewe is a pretty good runner, too.

  9. Willie Beamen from "Any Given Sunday"
  10. Willie Beamen is an archetypal modern quarterback. He can throw every pass, and with his agility and speed, he can make plays on his own. Plus who wouldn't want to hear him rap, "My Name Is Willie?"


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